Inquietude & Perturbation

How should you go about getting to know someone who scare you to bits? I feel safe if I know he's smiling or laughing but once he becomes abrupt and stand-off-ish, well --- I guess I'm what you can call a cowering fool.

I know there's a solution to every problem especially when you've identified what that problem is. I'm not gonna say I haven't yet cuz I know --- well, I think I do anyway --- what it is. Fear of rejection. There you go.

I don't like it one bit and yet I still let it over-power me. It's quite ironic actually since I'm doing this series at Dating Dames that basically counsels the guys on how to be a little more attractive to women. I sure can use some of those advices myself but hey, who listens to their own advice anyway? Heh. I know. I'm only trying to rationalise my actions. Silly me.

/sighs

I like the guy. It's frustrating since I don't know if he likes me, too. He likes to make fun of me that's one thing I'm certain. And he definitely tries to push my buttons each time I talk to him. Grrr. His arrogance is both attractive and annoying! Gah.

Just between you and me, though, those minute conversations we have had for the past few weeks have stayed on my mind a bit longer than it should. I can't help it. They make me smile. And forget the shitty things that have been happening to me.

To be quite honest, I'm half afraid to write these thoughts down cuz the last time I did it, it got jinxed. Ah, well --- who am I kidding? That last one was doomed from the very beginning! Hahaha.

Anyway, I feel bad for this guy actually. I'm not the nicest person. I guess I can't blame him if I do find out that he doesn't like me after all.

Come join the pity party, people! Teeheehee.

Yea, I'm a tad bit depressed with good reason. Heh.