Psychosis of Negativity

Scarred. Battered. Bruised.

My senses fall numb to further attacks. The law of survival will always prevail.

My past has made me to who I am now. Negative at times but only because I know no better. I need someone to disprove all the theories I've learned from things I've seen and experienced. Otherwise, they will continue to be the basis of how I see and know things.

Have I met a man who can tell me to jump and I would without thinking twice?
Have I met a man who can tell me the exact thing he will do?
Have I met a man who has opened his life and embraced my presence in it?

Show me that I can trust you even with the simple things and I will trust you with big ones --- my heart and my future. Tell me words that I can hold on to and I would no matter how seemingly thin and brittle they may be. Make me feel that I am a big part of your dreams, hell, your muse even.

Make me sing in rapture and dance in glee. I beg you.

But if things continue to be pragmatic and contain endless streams of action plans, I can't help but see a gray and dull future.

Tell me, have I indeed lost contact with the reality of what's positive?