08 April 2008

I'm on losing streak.

And who would have thought that such a lady of early 20's could have already been engaged (or married) by now?

I said, could have.

I once believed that my n-year relationship with some lad is gonna be my happily ever after. I once thought that I'm winning the game of love. I was so hopeful I'm gonna end up with the right person at the right place and time.

But then, he happens to be the wrong person. He happens to break my heart into pieces. After long, grueling yet hopeful years--the wrong person put my love and devotion to ruins.

So there, it was hurtful. Honestly, it still hurts. But, I manage to live through it day by day, rebuilding my crushed hopes.

It's been several months since we broke up. I can say I'm amid full recovery. I even discovered I'm beginning to like a few good men.

Yes, I am was am was particularly enamored at this guy.

The problem is, this guy. His actions are obscure and his reasons are equivocal. I deem that he doesn't really seem to like me back at all. For once, I chose to believe that he does, or did. But, things transpired lately wake me up into reality saying, "Nah. He didn't and he won't. Ever."

There goes the other lad, the shooting star. Now you see him, now you don't. He is very straightforward in putting whatever he means into words. His intentions, whatever they are, give me a great deal of confusion. Albeit, a trusted confidante tells me that he means no harm and he has good intentions. He's just, ugh, so preoccupied as of the moment.

So yes, I had a date. I get a few invitations for a date, but I just failed to attend those.

I am too fastidious.

I am too dubious.

I believe I overanalyze too much this time around.

So there goes my losing streak. In this game of love, it looks like this is my losing year.

So yeah, there goes the tidbits of my story. I will post juicier details thereafter.

tata for now. -xx

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