What If

Sometimes when everything is just really going great, you just suddenly stop and think -

Is this going to last?

Now, don't get me wrong, everything is going great. Work life, family life, social life and, of course, my love life. My best friend says I'm just being anxious and paranoid of losing any of it.

Well then I should change my perspective and see this as an adventure. Throw away the worries and just enjoy the whole thing and hope for the best with no expectations.

Gulp.

Life. Sigh.

Mangled and Cast off. Good times.

I have all these emotions inside of me that I wish to express but can't. I've tried a few times but I'm often not taken seriously --- will only be labeled as a irrational and nagging bitch.

Disentangling thoughts ---

It's like a husband having a separate bank account.

"I lie but I don't cheat" can also mean you'd be lying about the not cheating part.

You don't find me attractive anymore even when I stand naked in front of you.

Dismissive. Abrupt.

My past has come back to haunt me.

They're all the same.

Assholes.

Breaking the Silence

It's been almost a month since I last made a post. Not that I've been busy, but I just had some... ummm distraction. Major distraction. Good major distraction.

I guess it really helps to declare to the world what you want. Ask and you shall receive. Well, when the time is right. And I've been busy the past month taking care of myself and my private life. Sometimes it really helps to just quiet down and look at everything from another perspective, another angle.

I found it really funny that despite the silence, hibernating and just keeping to myself, it seems that the world is conspiring to bring me out and shove me to a place where I don't wanna be in. Baah! I won't go there. I won't go that way again. I am in a happy place now and I'm staying here.

Selfish it may seem, but sometimes the best thing to do is rid yourself of all negativity and move forward from there.